Scared. That's the word that best describes my feelings right before I attempted tonight's run. In the past 6 weeks there have been some ups and downs in my training. It's mostly been up (I'll write later about the progress I've made in that time period). That being said, I've taken the past 6 days off from training.
Why? Well my last three runs before taking a break were just plain awful. I don't know if it was a physical or mental thing, but it's almost like I couldn't warm up and get in the "zone" of the run; I just felt so exhausted. Not your normal exhausted like I'm about to pass out because I'm so tired and have no energy. It was scary because I don't remember ever feeling this way during a run. Usually a run gives me a burst of energy, but those past three runs were anything but.
I thought to myself, if this is what running felt like every day, I would hate it! Lol. I took the advice of some fellow runners, including my girlfriend, and decided to take a couple days off to clear my head. Somehow a couple days turned into 6, and that brings us to today.
Scared. What if I feel exhausted again? Well only one way to find out. I started listening to music and closed my eyes. I got engulfed in the sound, in the beat, in the lyrics. Untied the laces on my shoes, pulled on them a little, then tied them back again. Got up and stared at the running track. And here we...GO! I started to run and just focused on breathing, on the music and ignored everything else.
Before I knew it, I was able to run 5 miles and it felt pretty good. Not awesome but more importantly, not exhausted or awful. After I finished, I was more sore than normal but that's to be expected. After all, I hadn't exercised in 6 days. I think this was a good thing because it reminded me to never take running for granted. Now, it's time to refocus on training since I have some ground to make up. There is no time left to be running scared.